"Baby Boomer" is a label I picked up and started using to define myself when I turned fifty. Up to that point I was just grumpily dealing with being "over 45". Someone gave me the book Boomer Babes: A Woman's Guide to the New Middle Ages. After reading it, I started to think of myself as someone who could simply choose not to be old, or at least not to be old in the same typical way as other women I knew. I decided that being labelled a "Boomer Babe" might be a pretty good thing.
Then I did research.
I am a huge fan of the Urban Dictionary for many reasons. One is that I sometimes teach Intro to Linguistics and find the idea of average people defining new words and terms to be fascinating. Though I do believe that the very proper Samuel Johnson, who is typically credited with creating the first dictionary, is looking down on English speakers now and shuddering over the corruption of his life's work. I know I shudder over what I learn sometimes, including the fact that there really is such a thing as "too much information".
This happened when I looked up "Baby Boomers" in the Urban Dictionary. Submissions from people I'm old enough to have given birth to are full of blame for what they feel my generation has not done well. The vitriol in the contributions made me start thinking hard about that "Baby Boomer" label, because I'd gone from my perception of it as the "free-spirited older woman" contextual meaning to the "generation that caused all the problems in the world" one .
Writers well know that words have power and that a great deal of that resides in the images created in a reader's mind about the word's meaning. "Meanings" hit the brain as instanteously as the words are read.
For example, can a "rape survivor" ever have great sex again? I tackled that subject in Carved In Stone in a slightly different way. My 47 year old heroine lectures the 53 year old hero and tells him that after thirty years of therapy, she is doing just fine. She tells him that he is the one with the problem because my hero turns down intimacy with the heroine because of the label in his head, not anything genuinely true about her. It is about Jessica's struggle to shed a label in this case and I can tell you after thirty years the frustration level is high.
Many writers use labels with contextual definitions to set up a character precisely for the purpose of putting them through the change later. If the character is labelled and described as a "nice guy" or a "good woman", a reader typically picks up the book knowing full well that the label is going to be ripped away at some point in the story.
Maybe the labels we choose in real life function the same for us. At some point in the story of our lives, they'll be ripped away. Then we're like those cans of food in my practical joke, uniform on the outside, but quite different on the inside. If all the cans in the pantry look the same, there's really only one method of discovery.
My mother was mad at me for a very, very long time.
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Here are several links to where it can be purchased and downloaded (Kobo hasn't adjusted the price yet, but it should happen soon):
Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, Apple (via iBooks), Sony, Kobo
5 comments:
I never did that thing with the cans, but I often find things in unlabeled deli containers in the freezer that I can't tell what they are.
I don't even remember why I did it at the time--probably an OCD moment. I think was like 8 or 9 years old.
And I didn't do them all (farm family who stockpiled). I just peeled a dozen or so. Best I recall it was like a test to see how my mother would react.
I do the deli container thing in the freezer. Frozen food can really change it's appearance over time, even if it doesn't turn green and grow hair.
Love your blog, and enjoyed this post. I actually ran across your blog when your "Wrath of Konrath" post from Sept. came up in a related search. It was great to see an author reminding us that everyone is human (even our Indie trail blazers!) and that if you're intelligent with your career, you don't stagnate: you try new things, new ideas, new technologies and methods. Something that has been sorely needed in the publishing industry for a good century.
I think we all wrestle with lots of labels. Human brains are little "meaning-making machines." We can't seem to organize our thoughts or make decisions about what we believe, think, or feel without knowing what all the labels must be, and assuring ourselves that they fit into neat containers that we have no need to fear.
How I think about myself and how I want to be thought of by others, seems often to be a constantly changing thing with a life of its own. After a lot of struggle to reconcile societal labels that felt odd, restrictive, or uncomfortable, I came to the conclusion around my late 30s that I simply am whoever I say I am in the morning when I wake up, or when I change hats or clothes. Literally or figuratively. (I've actually found the clothes changing helpful.) Sometimes I'm an IT writer for the day job, sometimes an erotic romance writer, or maybe I'm a Goth chick if I'm going out clubbing that night (penchant for black vinyl and boots). But I'm always surprised when someone new meets me in one context and expresses real surprise at any other part of my life. Those parts of my life are not really "parts" -- they're all still me, and I hate the idea of compartmentalizing like I'm Sybil. (I just dated myself, didn't I?) Anyway, I'm trying to say that labels are just a choice. Like trying on a pair of shoes. I think a lot of us who are older than 35 were not raised to think that we could choose to remake ourselves once we passed the 25 marker. No, we had to be sure, and if we weren't sure, there was something wrong with us. Sometimes one label fits, but sometimes it only fits for a short time or only in a certain context. I think most of the labels I applied to myself at 25, except maybe "writer," don't apply remotely to my life anymore.
Roxy, thanks so much for commenting. I enjoyed reading it. Whenever I create a heroine, I start with an image and a "vision" of her. It doesn't take long though before I start asking myself "What else is she?". The multiple facets of a person are most interesting to me as the writer and I have to believe it works the same for readers. I know I expect interesting main characters from the books I read.
The really wonderful thing about writing books with older characters is that the older a person gets, the more facets they tend to have--unless they've lived in a cave. My 50 year olds were not received well by traditional publishing gatekeepers when I tried to go that route, but you should read the thank-yous I get for what people refer to as me "telling the truth" in creating realistic people. LOL.
It makes me laugh every time I get another one even though in my 50's it was a no-brainer. I will never be anyone's average grandma so my average grandma characters will never stay that way. Even my oldest characters will need to hang on tightly to their calm demeanor as long as they can because I thrive on facet evolution regardless of age. I think it is the best way to live.
Hope you decide to continue to follow my blog. I am trying to find my blogging stride. These are my favorite kinds of posts. :)
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